Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
