I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
