You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize