My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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