come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
