who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
