I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
