i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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