i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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