i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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