great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
