I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
