We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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