porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
