I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have post one night stand depression
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