it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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