Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
