Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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