i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
