I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
