Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My bed smells like the plague
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize