i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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