Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i now understand why vodka
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
