he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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