i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize