I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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