it hurts more in the daytime
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize