When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
