I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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