their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
