I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's just like the Real World with babies
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
