I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
