I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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