U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am mentally ready for anal.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
