Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo

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(616): View more from Michigan

I did the walk of shame to another booty call

(269): View more from Michigan

I don't think that should turn me on, but it does

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(302): View more from Delaware

is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."

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(806): View more from Texas

i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...

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(972): View more from Texas

I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.

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(858): View more from California

Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.

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(248): View more from Michigan

sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Where are you guys?

(336): View more from North Carolina

Drunk

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