Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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