my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
