She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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