god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
