HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
