Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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