those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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