It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
