Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry wheresmykeys hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

Fav 11 3896 1401
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has

Fav 14 3850 1067
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.

Fav 11 5243 1319
share tweet
(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes

Fav 6 1209 3975
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment

Fav 10 2593 1327
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"

Fav 19 973 3100
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(580): View more from Oklahoma

Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.

Fav 7 1936 892
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.

Fav 5 952 604
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.

Fav 0 42 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT