big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
