4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
actually, I'm a sock model
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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