You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
