Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
is it fun? or sober?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
