i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
