I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
