im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
