she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
