Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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