Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
