My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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