For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize