well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize