God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
