I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
