dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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