i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
